Breaking up with my Internet girlfriend

I hate myself for doing this but...
I'm breaking up with Cherie, the my Internet girlfriend.  Why?  I've got someone better, simple has that.  Her name is Fiona, and what's so special about her?  She wants to live with me on my year away overseas.  I've lived with two women in my life, the most recent being Renee.  After being single for about 18 months, I've come to realise something - I really enjoy living with a woman.  Waking up to a good morning kiss.  Shared time doing things together, or simply having company while you two do different things.  Being a more important person in someones life, rather than just a "boyfriend".  Not going home to a cold, dark, empty house.  Not having your things at two different places.  Not having to travel between the two different places frequently.

So when I was chatting with Fiona online on Facebook, I discussed the issue of meeting her (as friends), and effectively this conversation occurred:

Me: "I am not sure if I can meet you while I am overseas.  I'd like to, but I'm not sure"
Her: "That's okay, I can come to meet you.  We can live together"
Me: "We can live together?"
Her: "Yes, have a place to live together and be lovers for a year"
Me: "Are you sure?"
Her: "Yes, of course"
Me: "Are you really, really sure?"
Her: "Yes, of course"

I'll give you a bit of the back story with Fiona.  We met online and started an online relationship, with the plan to meet overseas for the year.  But she said she was "in love" within 24 hours, and then after a bit of getting to know Nikki I changed my mind, broke up with Fiona and then changed my attention to Nikki.  So yeah, I tend to be a bit flaky and change my mind now and then.  I hate that about me at the moment, I not normally as flaky as this. 

One of the conditions of living with Fiona is that she has to get a job, and support herself.  I'll pay for the rent and power, and she can pay for all of her own costs.  I hope she follows up with her part of the deal.

One thing that concerned me about dating Cherie was I was I was thinking that maybe I'd be lonely.  I asked her if I should get a cat to keep me company, but that was really a test to see how she'd react to me being lonely.  I got the feeling that she wouldn't be staying the night at my place very often, or at all.  I wouldn't be able to spend the night at her place, due to the lack of room, and privacy.  I feel pretty shitty about the whole thing, but really, I don't want to be lonely on my trip away.  I've been lonely for the last 2 years (including while living with Renee), I don't want to continue being lonely while on my trip away.

Losing my job

I was sort of expecting this - but I wasn't sure when it would happen.  My company has decided to offer compensation for anyone who wants to quit their job.  That's nice of them, because it sort of matches up with my desire to go overseas.  That's planned for early-mid next year.  So the company has given us a few weeks to decide what we want to do (not a lot of time, but I'm certain) and I've replied that I want to quit and take the money.  I'll likely be given about 20 weeks of pay.  That's worth it.  I guess I'll miss some things about this job, but there are a huge number of things I won't miss.  The actual job being one of them.  It's not for me, it was just meant to be a short term job that turned into 5 years.  I can't stand looking for work, so when I'm working somewhere, I'm unlikely to want to move.  A bit sad, really.  I admire people who change jobs.  I've never done it.  The things that I will miss are few in number, but I have to admit, I like having a job, and feeling like I am a part of something.  I didn't work for 13 years due to health issues, that has an effect on anyone, not being part of the work force.  I guess I'll miss walking into work and people saying hello and figuring out what my plan for the day was.  Assuming that they accept my offer, I'll leave mid February.