I can't get over it

Two films ALWAYS make me cry.  New Years Eye and Chelat Girl.  So I am sitting here, watching them on my laptop.  Crying.  Why am I crying?  Because I can't get over the dead of my ex, 11 years ago.  I've just been to visit her daughter, who I have trouble motivating myself to visit, because of the anxieties that seeing her creates.  It brings back all of those feelings of watching her mother die. She died from breast cancer, we basically had 6 months notice, and she died in 5 months.  Everyone was grieving.

After visiting the daughter, I had to stop the car, just to relax.  My anxiety is causing some problems, now and then.  I really need to work on that, I've fixed it before.  I can do it again.

Goal weight!

I am pleased to announce that I've reached my goal weight.  It's been over a decade since I've been here, and it's nice to be slim again.  I'm hoping that I stay here a long time because really, losing that weight has been one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I don't want to do it again.  Ever.  So from now on, I'll be watching what I eat, and watching my weight.  Weighing daily at the moment.

Mandy is coming back on Saturday.  When I think of it, I haven't been too lonely while she's been away.  She's phoned me about half a dozen times and we text nearly every day.  But I really don't know how she'll act when she's back.  I still may never seen her again, but the chances of that happening are on the low side.

To celebrate reaching my goal weight, I've been going to the cinema every day recently.  I was lucky that there were lots of new films for me to watch.  It would be fair to say that I've been floating on air now that I've reached my goal.  Losing weight really is one of the hardest things I'll ever do.